Thursday, November 10, 2016

10 Things Not to Do if You Want to be Friends with a Japanese Girl!

The girl society chaos, of course, exists within Japanese society too. I mainly grew up in America, and after 7 years, I came back to Japan. I was totally confused since there were unwritten rules within the girl community. So, these are some tips to the girls out there in order to survive this jungle.

1. When you are meeting for the first time, don’t even think about saying “NO”
Girls in Japan in general don’t like people who have too much self-assertiveness. It doesn’t matter what your opinion is, going with the flow is top 1 on the agenda. I know its not fair, and I know its strange. But “going with the flow” and “reading the situation” is very important not only between girls but within Japan.

2. Don’t try to be by yourself. Stay with the herd!
Girls in Japan also move around in tandems. Whenever they find someone by their self, they think they just don’t have any friends. If you say you want to go by yourself, they would consider it rude. If you are “friends”, do everything with someone from your group.

3. She’s in trouble, she wants your advice, but you’re not allowed to tell her your opinion!
There are always times when something happens and she wants to talk to you. She says she wants your advice. But this is the tricky part, she doesn’t actually mean it! She just wants you to nod and feel bad and show sympathy to her, so she can be the drama queen.

4. Making eyes at guys, especially sex appeals, will lead you to death in the girl world!
Maybe you want to be popular with the guys. Maybe you just want to be friends with them. Either way, if you show any kind of attitude that seems better than the attitude to the girls, they won’t like you. Especially sex appeals would make you considered as a slut

5.Don’t ignore texts or phone calls. RSVP is a must!
You HAVE to respond. No matter what. Always keeping in touch is rule. But at the same time you have to be careful. Don’t send another text if she hasn’t responded to the previous one!
6.You may be the happiest person in the world, but you can’t tell people!
Talking about something really good that happened to you would be considered bragging. The situation that makes you seem happier than the other girls would be bad. So just don’t talk about it, write it in your diary and just thank god.
7.Tell her she’s cute. Even if you don’t mean it!
Praising each other is very important in order to keep relationships between each other going smoothly. Just tell her she’s cute (even if she’s not) and everything will be fine.
8.Coming back from vacation without a souvenir is a taboo!
I don’t know who started it, but it seems that it would be rude to not have souvenirs for your friends if you went on vacation. People usually buy small packaged snacks so they can give them out to as many people as possible. But again, the tricky part. You have to give out souvenirs but you shouldn’t talk too much about where you went, what you did. If you overdo it, everything (including the souvenir) would be considered as bragging.
9.Don’t tell her she looks weird….she’ll be hurt!
The usual “Do I look OK?” kind of thing. Yeah… we don’t have that. Even if we did, its likely no one is going to say the truth. They have pride,and they think it would be embarrassing the other girl if her outfit or her hair looks weird.
10. Don’t be the first one to back talk!
Never say anything bad about someone. Unless the boss girl starts to say it. And, if she starts saying those things, don’t deny them. Just nod and smile and at least pretend you feel the same.
Of course there are some exaggerations, but they are somewhat true. These strange girl rules tend to exist everywhere and most people I think don’t like them. But who even started them? Who said you have to follow them? Its up to you whether or not you follow these things, but I hope you can find your Japanese bestie without worrying about any of this.

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