Japanese Typical “Pure” Dating Steps! Following Love Rituals for True Love!

We Japanese are said to be very shy. This goes the same for love as well. But, when you look around the city, there are many couples walking around and flirting. Summer is coming, so get yourself ready for falling in love!

Here in Japan, many couples tend to go through the same kinds of steps until they go out. Especially Japanese girls tend to think that these are important.

1. The Encounter

They beginning of their love starts from their encounter. Of course, everybody has their types, so you never know who they will fall in love with. As manners in Japan, If you meet them for the first time, make sure you call them by their first or last name with “san” or other suffixes on them. If you don’t you’ll leave a bad impression.

2. Asking for their contact information

You can ask for their contact information when you meet them for the first time. Those who are university students are younger tend to exchange their LINE IDs (LINE is a chat app that many people  use) so we usually don’t know each other’s phone numbers and so on.

3. Kokuhaku

We have a culture of doing “Kokuhaku” meaning confessing. In Kokuhaku, you must state clearly, that you like the other, and most also ask “Will you go out with me?”. Those of you who like Japanese anime or drama may have once seen a scene where the man and the woman are obviously going out but one is worried if they are really going out just because there was no Kokuhaku. It is so common that many girls have their ideal Kokuhaku situation. If you really mean it, you should Kokuhaku around the 3rd time you go out with just the 2 of you. Either way, you should’t Kokuhaku right away in Japan.

4. The First Date

There is a stereotypical image that the first date after starting to go out tends to be going to the movies. You also usually only hold hands, no more than that.  If you try to kiss on your first date, you might be considered as a bitch or playboy. So it is probably smart to just go home. Dating spots should also be like parks, museums, zoos, aquariums and places that you won’t feel much “sexuality”.

5. The First Kiss

Finally, around the 3rd date you can kiss! Unless its not the moment you just met, you can kiss him/her anytime you want. Maybe if she looks a bit lonely when saying goodbye, kissing her will make her fall even deeply in love with you!

Of course nobody has to follow any of these steps, but they are stereotypes on how people go through steps and they have been created through many anime and drama. This eventually led to some people thinking that these are the ideal steps to follow to get a boyfriend or girlfriend.